Here We Go
Holy Shit. I did it.
Sometimes, things take a moment to set it. Or, maybe a moment to be fulfilled and realized. Anyone that has known me over the past 5 years, is undoubtedly aware of my long standing love affair with Montana. A week ago, I quit my job. Jason and I are canceling our leases, putting our belongings in storage and heading to Montana.
Holy Shit. It’s real now.
I have always daydreamed about going back. Different circumstances surrounded each daydream. None of which seemed right. Quite frankly, each was encompassed with a lot of anxiety and toil. The timing wasn’t right, there were still things that I needed to do at my job, I needed to stay in one place for a while, I wasn’t ready to go home, the list goes on and on. Circumstances are certainly better this time but, for some reason, it was different. We have been talking about the idea for a couple of months now. My family was in support, things seemed to line up, and I replayed all of the aforementioned daydreams in my head over and over. For a while, I thought it was a nice idea and fun daydream to get lost in, but it too would fade into the background like the rest.
With no particular event leading to it, I woke up with a gentle confidence, peace and certainty; This was the day, I would tell my boss and friend.
It’s quite odd how the feeling just hugged me really. A gentle nagging, “Go, be courageous, see what this world has to offer you.”
Several days later and I still find myself thinking,”Ha. That is a nice thought. That wasn’t me, I would never quit my job.” Yet, it was me. I did do that.
Holy Shit. I did that. Now we’re doing this.
I should start here by saying, it is a truly lovely feeling to leave something behind that has filled your heart to the brim. Charlotte is quite possibly the first place that I have made home. Yes, Montana built me and will always hold my heart. The Queen City though, is the first place that I really built something. The first time, I came to Charlotte, was also my first day of work for Adams Outdoor. I didn’t know a single soul in the city. It has been 3 years, 6 months and 29 days since then. I say with the utmost sincerity that since that day, this city has embraced me with more than welcoming arms. The friends I have made, the passion that people have here and the willingness to build each other up in this city is inspiring. Saying, “I’m from Charlotte.” has been something I am so proud to say. This city is building something. I’m so honored to have taken a small part in that. So, I’m leaving?
Yes, but for a short time. And then, we are coming back. With no plan. That scares the shit out of me and also excites me more than Christmas morning. I heard something a while back, “At the end of the day, the only thing you truly own is your experiences.” This hit me with an insane amount of potency. I can choose this life, and I get one chance. This time in Charlotte, has prepared me for this, and without doubt when I reflect on my life as an old woman I will smile. And now, I am opening my world for the universe to embrace me once again.
Holy shit, we’re doing this.
Yes, there is a we. Those of you that have known me over that past five years, also know I haven’t really embraced a “we,” for various reasons, I suppose. Remember, that feeling I described earlier, confidence, peace and certainty? Copy and paste that here. After meeting Jason, it quickly became clear to me, that I was now we. Honestly, without him, I don’t know that I would do this. We’re adventure partners.
If I do have anything planned, it is to remain intentional with my time. To not worry about what will happen when it is over. To work on my craft, everyday and challenge myself. To go on an adventure everyday. To spend an incredible amount of time with my family. But most importantly, welcome the universe with arms spread wide with excitement, possibility and courage.
Holy shit, here we go.
(sorry for the dirty words, Grandma.)