Here, this very moment. I can never seem to quite find myself here. Since I can remember, it’s been this way for me. In college, I was always on the next place or stuck thinking about the last. I prided myself on this. “It’s my sense of adventure, I am seeing the world!” I would say. Yes, I was. However, to be on an adventure, you have to actually be there.
I had the fairytale ending to my college career. For 4.5 months, I was in Italy taking art history and photography. I lived in Florence and spent every weekend exploring parts of Europe. I was miserable. My parents came at the end of my time there and my mom, who knows me better than anyone, just looked at me and could see it. The entire time, I was concerned with the people the I’d left behind, where I was going to go when I returned and how my life was going to unfold.
This experience unfortunately isn't a stand alone. I didn’t fully learn my lesson in Italy. Though much more aware, I still have moments that my mind goes from being here, there to elsewhere. What a tremendous undertaking it is to be present. And how quickly can we unconsciously drift away.
I am so grateful this morning. After finishing, “How to be Here,’ by Rob Bell, I have stopped, and decided to sit. To take it all in.
The mind is a tricky place. The moment right now is big. The birds are outside chirping, rain intermittently hits the leaves. There is a slight cleansing breeze. The coffee pots groans and a car drives by, grabbing the wet roads with it tires. The world is quiet this morning. As I take a sip of my coffee, the taste reminds me of Italy and has made me think: I don’t ever want to waste time like that again. What a tragedy to go through life and not fully experience it. I suppose, that is how life can pass you by.
To wake up, have your routine and just be, I don't want that. But here is the best part, it’s as simple as a choice. To have moments that pause and make you realize, you are going through the motions just to get to the next thing.
Give yourself to the motions. Fully immerse yourself into them. They will lead to something greater than you know. Greater than whatever it was you were trying to get to in the first place. Inhale, move forward with courage and trust that by giving your best, the universe will do the same in return.
The past will still be there. You can’t change it. The future will come when it comes, regardless of how long you think about it. But now, this is it.
I am grateful this morning because I have chosen to be here.
I can't give enough praise for How to Be Here, by Rob Bell. whoa.