I am making these things:

The White Papers

For more, visit TheWildLetters.com, a project for the explorer in all of us by me and Yarby

The Adventure

 

Rumi is one of my favorites. Always has been. This particular quote is hanging on the inside of my door so that as I leave every day, I am reminded to stay alive. This may sound cliché but I am certain that it tends to stand true in certain seasons of our lives. 

Embodying a bit of a gypsy soul, there are moments that I feel stuck, uninspired and stagnant. These thoughts scare me tremendously. I want to be on an adventure always and live my life as full as possible. 

The past couple of years, unintentionally, I have had to define what my adventure means. Growing up in Montana I was born into the never-ending adventure of skiing every weekend, camping in serene wilderness at a moments notice, jumping in cold mountain lakes and riding my bike picking lilacs… every day was an outdoor experience. Montana still has a significant portion of my heart and I attribute a large amount of who I am to those spaces, people and values that engulfed me. 

Despite these idyllic surroundings, there was something in me that needed to see what the world was made of. So I left … and floundered, for several years. I moved to several cities and continued to tell myself that this is what I wanted, yet in the back of my mind I was emotionally tied to Montana and the life I had there. However, history had proven, that when in Montana, I wanted to be somewhere else.

It became clear to me that I was looking for a place to complete me and become my home. I would move until I found it. I would “just know” when I found it. The ability to move anywhere, meet new people and appear to have “made a life,” was always something I took pride in. Never, was I fulfilled. I was always living in the past and comparing my life to the grand adventures my friends from Montana were having. The occasional Facebook picture of a summit or cross country ski path would make my heart sink and I could convince myself in a skinny minute, that I was living the wrong life. That was where I was meant to be. 

Sitting at my great job behind my desk, thinking to myself, this is a failure, this is not the life my younger self told myself I would be leading. WHOA! Hold please.

… That is when it hit me. I loved my life in Montana but I needed to let it go. While sitting in that space of nostalgia and comparison, I was blind to the incredible friends, career, passions, and potential of the very life I was in. In all actuality, this life looked like quite the tempting adventure. The life I was seeing my friends lead on social media was spectacular and maybe one day I will find myself back there but for now… this is my adventure and I choose to be present in it and live the hell out of it. 

Back to Rumi. To me, this is a reminder to not be blind to the things that I am seeking. Which for now, is to be creative, steep in the magnificence of the people I am surrounded with, to live this very life I’m living and give it everything I’ve got. Today, that is what excites my spirit and I hope to always respond to it.